Life Beyond Life
by Sailor Seraphim
Summary: Trapped in the destiny of the Ginzuishou, what happens when you want to free yourself from Life? This is the fic that inspired my Retrospections Series of stories.


Life Beyond Life  
A Sailor Moon Fanfic  
by:  
Sailor Seraphim  
  
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Author's Notes:  
  
I do not own Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon or any of its related characters. If I did, the villians would all be very bishounen boys. And I would have brought the Dark Kingdom Generals back. As it is, I *do* own the situations which occur in the fic.  
  
SPOILERS for... well, the whole series. All five seasons AND the manga. ESPECIALLY THE MANGA.  
  
BEWARE THE ANGST! AND DEATH (sort of)!  
  
Language Check --  
  
"ginzuishou" -- The Silver Crystal  
  
Enjoy!  
  
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I am tired. So very tired.  
  
Tired of life... tired of living. Who knew that the ginzuishou held such awesome power? Perhaps when my mother, Queen Serenity, threw myself, my love, and my Court into the future to save us, she didn't know that we would be reincarnated. Again. And again. And again. Pluto was right to say that tampering with Time was dangerous.   
  
I was once Princess Serenity, the Heir to the White Moon and the Silver Millennium.  
  
I was once an innocent girl named Tsukino Usagi, living happily in Tokyo.  
  
I was once the Senshi of Mystery Sailor Moon, fighting to protect the Earth.  
  
I was once Neo Queen Serenity, the ruler of Crystal Tokyo and the Neo Silver Millennium.  
  
I thought that with this Utopia my business was finished. I thought that I was free to live my life, love my family and friends, to die peacefully when my time came.  
  
But I was wrong... so very wrong.  
  
The ginzuishou controls my life. The threads of Fate will not be cut for me. I have been reincarnated after every single one of my deaths, and I am tired. My soul is too old, too weary, yet no rest comes for me.   
  
I am very lonely, too.  
  
My eyes have seen sights that no mortal should ever see. Wars of immense proportion, the deaths of millions, gigantic monsters that seem from the pits of Hell itself. Yet, I have seen these wars fought till the end. I have seen millions born to replace the dead. I have seen these monsters destroyed by the pure light and strength of love. I have seen the collapse of my proud kingdom, and a new rise made by my descendants. I have even been born as my own great, great, great, great, great granddaughter.   
  
Oh, I do not complain. I learned long ago that it is useless to complain to the Cosmos. I was once the Cosmos. The best part of my lives was that I thrilled anew at the sensation of falling in love with my Endymion over and over again when he was reborn like me. In some incarnations I sought him vainly, but never found the comfort of his arms. In most we met and loved and married. In all we died and were reborn again. But, I have not seen an incarnation of Endymion in many generations. Perhaps he has been finally left to rest. Farewell, my love, I can only pray.  
  
I had my friends through these lives, too. Always, always my Senshi sought me out and befriended me. In some lives only one or two shared my sorrow, in others all of us were together again. The ties of love, friendship, and loyalty are strong between us. But, even my dearest friends have been taken from me. They were lost to me even before Endymion dropped from my lives. In fact, the last friend I remember was Mars... and that was over two centuries ago. Goodbye, my friends, I can only hope to be with you soon.  
  
Pluto, of course, has been my only constant companion through my rebirths as Time holds no meaning for her. She has always found me wherever, whenever, I was; still loyal to the long dead Queen. But those who testify to Pluto's immortality are fools, for I have seen the death of a Pluto as well. Twenty years ago I was accosted by the new Pluto; a brazen, red-haired girl. She despised me because I had the knowledge of events and Time that she did not. Ah, Pluto... you are no Setsuna. Where did you go my eternal friend?  
  
As I take a ragged breath, I can feel my body shudder. Death, my close confidant, will come for me again. I am no longer afraid, I never have been afraid, of Death. It is only the next life that I fear. A life of loneliness and alienation; who would ever believe the cries of a two-year old girl with an ageless soul?  
  
A light accosts my eyes and I stare deeply into it. Is that you, Rei? Ami? Makoto? Minako? Do you beckon to me Haruka? Michiru? Hotaru? Are you smiling gently at me Setsuna? Do you open your arms to me, my beloved Mamo-chan?  
  
I do not want to live again, but I do want to be with you, minna. My friends. My love.  
  
I am tired. So very tired.  
  
  
  
  
-- Owari -- 


End file.
